hippie advice

the reason I don't listen to hippies is that they're so hyperbolic. everything is so amazing, so delightful, so awesome. this is especially true when it comes to their hippie treatments and cures. remedying everything from migraines to dry skin to cancer, these secret recipes are usually handed down from a friend of a friend of a friend who met some tribal healer during a climbing/walking/being tour of nepal/india/tibet and brought back the ancient secret to share with close friends of the modern world. a lot of the time, this ancient secret was brought back through customs, wrapped in several layers of socks and smelling suspiciously like bad pot. but, whatever.

so of course, when I first heard about the neti pot from a hippie friend, I acted all interested but immediately filed it away in my "riiiight" file. the thing is, I've suffered from allergies and sinus infections for most of my life. doctors have put me on all sorts of medications, and I've tried everything in the Allergy & Sinus aisle at the drugstore. none of it works, and so the thought of mixing up a tub of salt water solution and then hosing the inside of my nose with it every morning didn't seem all that promising. besides, all I could think of was that feeling you get when you're at the beach and you accidentally breathe in a wave of seawater. the way the inside of your head burns and is raw for hours afterwards.

but after I moved back here, my allergies and sinus infections flared up like never before. they were so bad they started triggering migraines, and entire months went by where I felt like I was looking out at the world through a grease-smeared lens with an arrow buried deep behind my eyes. and meanwhile, it seemed as if everyone was talking about how the neti pot had changed their lives. so the next time I walked by the hippie store, I picked one up.

it took me a couple of days to actually take it out of the box, but I finally mixed up my 1/4 teaspoon of kosher salt with warm water and tilted my head over the sink, with the spout of the pot firmly plugging my nostril.

and, voila! it is surprisingly easy to use. almost failproof. the water actually just flowed into my nose and out the other nostril. just like they said it would. no coughing or choking. yes, it did feel a little odd to feel water so close to my eyeballs. but not painful. like a bath. a salty one. for the inside of your head.

and now I've been doing it almost every day since, and it's been almost two months.

so, do I have some great turnaround story for you? living an allergy- and sinus infection- and migraine-free life? turning to the hippies for all the secrets of life?

hardly.


the moral of this story is, sometimes, you're just screwed with bad sinuses.