deus ex machina

it's like I'm the executive director of the hoover dam. it's pretty important, a lot at stake there. and someone points out to me that there's a fairly large crack up in the retaining wall. that it seems to be fine now, but there are faint tremors along the length of the wall, and they could be related. it's not certain, but highly coincidental that they'd be starting up now, if they weren't related.

so, I open up my plan book--after all, as the executive director of the dam, it's not like I haven't dealt with cracks before. and I flip open to Plan A: Ignore. sounds pretty good to me. I mean, I check out the window, and the dam looks pretty good from up here. sure, every once in a while, one of the engineers buzzes up, but they're always freaking out over something. so, Plan A it is.

well, as soon as Plan A goes into action, I get red lights from everywhere. major tremors in Sector C! cracks forming in Sector F! tremors and cracks in Sectors D, H, T and U! and all the while, that crack in the retaining wall is getting deeper and wider. I pull out the plan book, flip past Plan A to Plan B: Cement.

I read through the operation and it sounds both feasible and repairing. we'll be spreading a sealing cement over the entire span of the dam. covering the whole thing. it'll look completely different, but in the end, the foundations are still there, and it will be sealed with this high-gloss cement that will hold everything together. safe. sound.

I get to work. and it was hard work--it's been a while since this executive director's been down in the field, pulling on work gloves and spackling cement. but toodle-a-roo, worth it in the end. I mean, this is the hoover freaking dam.

this should've been the end of the story, right? except, of course not.

this cement that was used should've worked. except, apparently, under certain conditions (too numerous to detail here, but take my word for it), what the cement does is contract tighter and tighter. so what it's doing is actually weakening the foundation structure; I'm watching the dam crumble right there, under my feet. I can feel the tremors, hear the cracks. they're all around me as I sit in my office, desperately searching the plan book for a Plan C that doesn't exist.

I think I may be going down with this one.