all things considered...

..it really oughtn't feel so bad. but it does. and how do I account for that?

it's like a trip I took. it's night and I'm driving on an unfamiliar highway. but there are sodium vapor lights overhead, and I'm making okay time. and then for some reason or reasons--which seem vague and unclear to me now--I decided to take an offramp exit onto a side road. and, without really thinking too carefully about it, I toodled down that road until I realized it wasn't fully paved. I seemed to be alone and there weren't any lights. and the surrounding trees were growing in closer and denser.
the thing is, I'm not one to really turn around and go back. so I keep pushing forward. and soon, I'm inching along, completely surrounded by branches that are scratching at me, in absolute darkness. I don't even know that there's a road beneath me. now, it feels like I can't move forward or back. I can't even get the door open to assess the situation from another perspective. I'm stuck behind the wheel, staring forward at what seems like impenetrable darkness.

does this sound familiar to you? I hope it doesn't, for your sake. but for mine, I hope it does. just so I know that I'll make it out of here okay, in the end.